(something like) Spelling Bee in My English Exam

So if you guys follow me on Twitter/@sylvdoanx, you should have seen my public breakdown over my then impending grade 8 piano exam.

I know it’s not a school exam or something, but let me tell you, piano exam is much much worse than school exam. Because unlike in written exam when you can try hard to access your memory, practical piano exam is a one-off, now-or-never thing. Once you slip when doing something – that’s it. That is it. From passing with distinction to passing with merit in just one slip.

A little more technical here, one thing I hated the most (because I’m no good at it – simple, right?) was the 6th apart scale. Just for you laymen, basically you have to play a scale (something like doremifasolatido-dotilasofamiredo), but your hands/fingers start on different notes (6 steps apart). And you have to play it 4 octaves up and down (simply saying, you play it 4 times continuously).

Wait, what? So difficult?

Oh, yes, apparently. Now, I understand the importance of playing scales in order to play piano well – it’s all about balancing the power and making the lines as smooth as possible (if you don’t get this, don’t worry, not important), yet I don’t understand making it compulsory to test these freaking scales on piano exam. At the end of the day, playing these scales requires more brain-teasing work instead of paying close attention to how I play my piano correctly. It’s more like they’re trying to test my brain, or muscle memory, instead of my musicality.

As per my title, it’s just like they ask you to do a spelling bee or a tongue twister and you’ll be graded for it in your English exam. It’s not how you can use English or how you can play piano anymore!

I know, I know. Maybe I’m just bitter coz I didn’t do well on my 6th apart (and my 3rd apart) scales. Whatever. I hope the examiner is nice enough not to let me repeat this hellish grade 8 exam. Ugh.

Image by myself! Press on Deviantart

The Middle Girl

Sometimes I feel that I’m always in the middle.

Not good enough, but not bad either.

My grades are never top grades, but they’re still adequate to keep me from being kicked out. I play piano, finished my grade 7, but I’m still not able to play Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu.

Perhaps it’s because of my nature of being jack-of-all-trades. I don’t quite understand why I became one. Perhaps it was because of several lessons I took when I was a child. I never know.

The saying “jack of all trades, master of none” scares me sometimes.

After all it kinda sucks being a middle girl. People know you can, but you’re not the expert. You’re not the best.

Countless people have told me that I need to choose one. I need to focus.

But I honestly tell you, I can’t.

I’ve analyzed each of my interests, weigh them, see whether they’ll benefit me in the future, and the blah and the blah and the blah.

I got tired. But after pondering for some time (actually quite a long time) for this, I think I know my passion : to know a lot about as many things as I can.

However that still doesn’t free my status as “The Middle Girl”.

I still don’t know, though, whether it’s a blessing or a curse. What do you think?

—BONUS—

A video of Chopin’s Fantaisie Impromptu (I don’t know whether I spelt it right. Don’t bash me if I didn’t)

A video of me playing “Giga” by John Loeillet. This was my exam piece for my grade 7 exam. Be aware though that I don’t play this clumsily for my exam! Haha. This was just one of my practice, I wanted to know how I sounded so I recorded it. This video is also dedicated to Wilfrid, who, if I remember correctly, asked to see my piano performance. Well here’s one of my unglam performance.

sylv playing piano – john loeillet – giga from Sylvia Giacinta on Vimeo.