People say, because it’s an online life, don’t put too much your personal feelings into it.
But I say, when online life is a part of your life, not just another life altogether from your so-called real life, it doesn’t apply anymore.
People say, just don’t care about it. It’s just online and you can easily “switch off” and “ignore” it.
I say, no, it’s not that easy. Because they will keep pestering you for reasons I don’t understand. Because they will keep finding your faults and pointing them out to everybody. Because they’re still friends with your friends. Because they will confront you and laugh when you’re hurt.
People say, you can’t please everyone.
But was it a too extravagant request and hope to stay friends with everyone? Because the problem is finished, the chapter is closed, why not we just hold hands and be merry together again?
Pain, I feel. Pain, they inflicted.
But probably because it’s an online stuff, not face-to-face stuff, it’s easy for them to not care and just ignore the pain I feel. And it’s easy to “un-friend” me because the relationship can be terminated with just one or two clicks of “remove friend”. It’s easy to laugh about me because no, they won’t see my tears if they really do it in front of me. Or maybe they just don’t dare to do it in front of me.
I have always taken the neutral path and I just want to be friends with everyone. See the two sides, understand, and that’s it. But some people don’t work like that, I guess. There are only two sides and I can’t stand in between. You’re out and that’s it. Yeah, and there goes our friendship too. As easy as that.
People always have differing opinions. That’s why there’s a word “quarrel”. People don’t like to have differing opinions. It’s always easier to have people with same opinions. But there’s also a word “reconciliate”, to recover and go back to initial state before the quarrel.
But what if there wasn’t even a quarrel? What if suddenly you just see this person attacking you when yesterday you just chatted happily with the person? What if suddenly you just see bad things about you appearing? No quarrel, no initiation of reconciliation.
I don’t know how they feel after doing it. But for me, it’s only pain.
But I don’t think they care.
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