My Grey World

Happy 20, me.
 
 
 
 
 
Yes I finally left the teen years and I’m in the 20 something club now! Say hello!
Thank you GOD Almighty for all the blessings throughout the 20 years, and hopefully even more years.
Blessed be the 20th year.

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Indonesian Chinese
Chinese Indonesian
Chindo
Indochina
Cokin
Tong ngin
Tionghoa
Cina
There are a lot of things people use to call me and similar people : a person of Chinese descent/ancestry who was born and raised in Indonesia.
But in English-speaking world, I always choose to call myself “Indonesian Chinese”.
Sometimes I don’t use it at all, fearing discrimination or sorts. But most of the [...]

Ok I have 27 minutes to finish this blog post (I started writing at 23:33 PM Singapore time).
I’ve always hated the idea of making resolutions. Why should we? Why wait until new year to do/get new things?
But then I’m changing a lot this year so I guess.. I’m gonna make a resolution for the next [...]

My mom called me at 1 AM in the morning one day. I rejected it. Who the hell picks up calls at 1 AM? However soon after she sms-ed me saying that she wished to inform me that Gong-gong (Grandpa) is in critical condition and she wanted me to check about hospitals in Singapore.
And then [...]

Papa, Mama,
I grew up.
But it hurts. So much.
I want to go back to the earlier years.
I want you to buy me tons of books.
I want you to clap for me when I’m playing the piano, even so horribly.
That was ten years ago, maybe even more, but still.
I want you to cut me fruits and make [...]

Girls, and boys, grow up with fairytales. We were filled with positive thoughts, dreams, and hopes.
And then reality hit us when we’re growing up. Things are never easy. Things are not beautiful. After tears and letdowns, sometimes there’s still no happy ending. After crying because the evil stepmom never allowed us to go to the [...]

I miss you more than you can imagine
When I’m lying alone on my bed in my pitch dark room, looking at the tiny indicator light of the aircon, knowing that you’re not on the other bed, singing or talking nonsense about your day.
I miss you more than you can imagine
When I wake up for school [...]

Sometimes I feel that I’m always in the middle.
Not good enough, but not bad either.
My grades are never top grades, but they’re still adequate to keep me from being kicked out. I play piano, finished my grade 7, but I’m still not able to play Chopin’s Fantasie Impromptu.
Perhaps it’s because of my nature of being [...]