My Grey World

Before I even stepped in SMU, I had already prepared a post in my mind to release when I’m about to graduate.

It would talk about my feelings. About my takeaways. About how I treasure the opportunities I have managed to attain. About how all my previous struggles had been worth it.

But seriously?

I actually don’t know what to feel right now. I know for sure, for years when I finish school after school, there was only joy. I couldn’t wait to move forward. I couldn’t wait to leave the past behind.

And yet now is the first time ever when there is no certainty after the finish line.

I kinda realized that it’s the last week of school really late. I just realized earlier this week that I have no exams. Only a final test this Saturday (3 April), summary and reflection paper due on Friday and Saturday, and then a short story due on next Monday (5 April), and then I’m done. Done. Finito.

I was like, really? This is it?

I suppose it’s the case with many people. You don’t really realize what you have been through until the last minutes of it. And right now I wonder whether I haven’t savoured the experience, the last days, enough.

And I still don’t know what to feel….

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