My Grey World

1 | makomako

November 15th, 2008 at 11:13 am

thanks =)

2 | Sylvia Giacinta

November 15th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

no problem. do remember though that this is not only for you.

3 | makomako

November 15th, 2008 at 6:16 pm

hahaha yeah i guess so, at least i know of a few people who are facing the same problem..

its a pity..really..

4 | Michelle

November 16th, 2008 at 10:17 am

I think it’s unfair really.. for the friends.. I think we need to make time too.. even if our bf always make appointment first.. there’s a time to say no to your bf and actually make the appointment with our friends.. we can’t expect to reject them every single time cos they’re too late and expect them to still ask.. I learnt that the hard way..

so really.. don’t take ur friends for granted.. they need to feel needed too.. and we do need them.. and never making an initiative to actually do anything with them might just kill it..

Believe me.. they don’t want to assume.. but after a while.. their assumption really is not wrong.. I know the feeling of being left out.. seriously.. with work, church, family, bf and friends.. of course.. we can’t always make it for everything our friends ask.. but I just learnt that it is possible to manage.. it is possible to actually put our friends first once in a while.. especially when they want to celebrate something or talk about something..

But thanx.. your post kinda reminded me to practise what I preach..

5 | Sylvia Giacinta

November 16th, 2008 at 1:22 pm

Just one reply for you.

I didn’t say that we didn’t try.

6 | Michelle

November 16th, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Well I don’t know what you mean by try.. if you try by slotting them into the times that hasn’t been taken up by stuff especially the bf.. then.. I really think you have replaced them.. they’re not so important anymore.. being with the bf is more important.. then.. is that what u call trying? Maybe you could begin by trying to actually have a fixed day to catch up.. a lunch.. a dinner.. I dunno.. just you and your friends.. no matter what happen.. it’s still on.. or if you really can’t make it.. reschedule.. but if you just simply reject.. no wonder they stop.. If you really feel left out.. then make an effort not to be left out..

But I mean hey.. it’s up to u guys really.. I totally understand you all have priorities obviously different from mine.. No matter what I say and how I say.. you won’t understand cos your mindset has been formed..

But maybe you should spare some thought to the people you left behind.. the people you call your good friends.. are you really being a good friend by rejecting all their offers and then be angry at them for stopping all those invitations.. Maybe they’ve had enough of all those so called rejections and being number 3 or 4 or 5 on your list.. it won’t hurt you know to say no to your bf once in a while.. I do know how it feels to be in love.. but doesn’t mean we have to be together 24/7.. It’s really not fair if you are not being a friend to them cos you’re always unavailable but you expect them to be available whenever you require them.. And just for the record.. just because you are attached now.. doesn’t mean you live for your bf too right? if you spend all ur time with your bf and don’t think u live for him.. then why do you think that our single friends would think you live for them? Just wanting to spend some time with friends does not equate you live for each other.. where did you get that?

I’m sure they understand that you’re happy and in love.. I’m sure they also understand that less time will be spent with them.. but if all your free time are spent with the bf.. I don’t think they’d understand.. It almost seems like the bf is our life.. and we’re only with our friends when we have projects or work to do together.. What I’m saying is.. if we really want to make time for them.. There will be time.. always.. Even if you have a million of other things to do or people to see.. you’d have that time.. I think they’d at least respect you for the effort..

But don’t get me wrong.. it’s not like I’ve never done it.. I have and I had to learn it the hard way.. Maybe you can avoid my mistake and see things from their point of view.. The point of view of people left behind..

7 | Sylvia Giacinta

November 16th, 2008 at 3:29 pm

I have written a similar long comment but somehow the browser froze. heh. You should feel lucky now.

Ok all in all, here it is. If you think I haven’t been in the shoes of people left behind, you’re wrong. (like seriously?)

I don’t believe in fairytale friendships. The ones where they hug each other regularly telling each other “OMG how lucky we are to be together! We’ll be best friends forever and ever!”.

Understand, and move on.