Letter to the choir

I missed a choir rehearsal on Thursday.
The president demanded an explanation for the choir.

This letter explains the reason, and also explains why I haven’t been updating regularly.
And to show my sincerest apologies.

Dear choir members,

This is not the best or the most satisfactory or sensible explanation ever, but this is the true account. I encountered some big hiccups in internship and as a result I had to put a lot of effort to mend them. Yesterday was the worst day and I left the office at almost 7 PM (my office hour is only until 5.30 PM), and went to home straight, totally forgetting about the practice I should be attending.

However, I’m really sad that no one bothered to call me or sms me yesterday. I just checked my phone logs whether there were missed calls from one of you. I just checked my phone inbox amidst my many unread messages whether there were any messages I miss. There weren’t any. Forgetting is a lame and unacceptable excuse, I know, and I might seem to be shifting blame to my work/internship problems but if somebody had just called me or smsed me I most probably would have come, even late and all. Hell I’d jump off the bus and go to the nearest bus stop that has buses going to school. Really.

I’m very sorry to miss the practice due to my absent-mindedness. I regret that fact. I admit these few days (or weeks) I’ve been very messed up. I don’t even organize my appointments in my agenda anymore, which is very rare for a person like me if you know me very well. So I beg you all, please, call me, sms me when I don’t show up. Trust me, I won’t intentionally miss a rehearsal just because I’m not feeling like it. I have been coming to most of the rehearsals and practices, despite being late for my inability to wake up/function in weekends’ mornings, or despite being wary and tired after work. I tried my best to come on time for Saturday rehearsals and I did succeed. I always come to night practices, even when I had classes until 6.45 PM, even when I had work. You know you can trust me.

I hope you’ll all forgive me and help me learn the steps/moves/positions.

Sorry.

To readers, please note that I’m not blaming them. It was solely my fault and my absent-mindedness from the first place. I just wish that they had told me, so all this thing would have been avoidable. But I admit it was my fault anyway… So stupid for not even putting it into my agenda. Guess there’s no way to fix this but to show up at the next practice, and learn the steps fast. Wish me luck.

Dear Nicole

Cece was excited and eager to see you ever since Cece’s sister (Cece Fiona/Ona) told Cece that Khew Mei (Auntie) was pregnant with you. Cece even browsed a lot of baby names website to search for a name for you. Cece has given names to your brother and sisters, even though only the middle name.

Cece is not coming home to Jakarta this year due to one or many reasons Cece hates. Cece was very, very busy, and then Cece Fiona sms-ed Cece to say that you had been born, and named Nicole days before. Cece was quite pissed, why didn’t she get told immediately earlier? Why did they forget me? Seems like your Kuku (auntie) and Kuchong (uncle) and other Ceces were too busy to inform Cece.

Soon enough, Cece Fiona updated Cece again. She said you were born with only one eye, and it had not been known whether it worked properly. Cece’s heart broke. But Cece still wanted to see you, even once. Cece wanted you to know and recognize Cece, who was also eager to see you coming to world.

But what can Cece do?

Yesterday, amidst of many unread Twitter messages that Cece was too lazy to read, Cece found an sms from Cece Fiona. It was just a sentence. One sentence. Five words.

“Nicole has just passed away….”

Cece cried. Hard.
Cece doesn’t really know why. She’s never seen you. You didn’t even know that Cece existed. Even Cece’s family had not been very eager to share news about you to Cece.
But Cece cried.

Perhaps you didn’t want to be a burden to your parents, who has already had 3 children. Perhaps you were suffering so much. Perhaps you couldn’t bear to see your parents suffering. Perhaps you didn’t want to live an imperfect life, and wanted to leave as soon as possible while you can.

Perhaps perhaps perhaps.. Quizás quizás quizás…

Whatever it might be……..

It’s unbelievable. It’s surreal. Before Cece has even had a chance to witness your existence, you are gone.

Rest in peace, Nicole.
Cece loves you. Cece knows she does. Even though she’s never seen you.

Plurk me baby one more time!

Oh baby baby, the reason I breath is youuuu.. Boy you got me blinded!

In case you don’t know, that was from Britney Spears’ Baby One More Time!

I have no time to properly update this blog so right now. So many things to doooooooo. just follow me in my plurk ok! It has my latest updates about.. er.. everything.

Join me on Plurk too! It’s fun. Enough said.