My Grey World

An evil cycle, indeed.

Too much work to handle – become too tired – become uncontrollably slacking/procrastinating (and sometimes uncontrollably falling asleep –i’m serious) – works piling – too much work to handle – repeat cycle

And even though I’m trying to catch some rest in between (not including the accidental ones), it’s still not enough.. According to this sleep debt calculator, I need a day of 45 hours sleep. Hello, one day only has 24 hours, if I remember correctly?

Seriously, ok. SMU can be sued on the base of making the students sleep deprived. According to the wikipedia page of sleep deprivation, sleep deprivation can cause many serious health problems. The problems range from muscle ache until cardiovascular disease. Yes, you read it right.

Are you gonna pay my hospitalization fee when I’m finally hospitalized, SMU? Must you wait for somebody to be really sick until hospitalized to open your eyes, realizing the fact? Or maybe when somebody just drops dead in between classes and rushing for project meetings?

My sleep deprivation problem has come to a dangerous state. I can accidentally fall asleep anywhere anytime. There was one time during a meeting I fell asleep while still holding the mouse, in front of the computer. Luckily my groupmate called out my name several times. There was also one time when I kept falling asleep and waking up for don’t know how many times. There was a meeting at 10 AM. I woke up at 6. I did some work I was supposed to do (and the preceding night I also fell asleep, that’s why I couldn’t finish my work). Then I accidentally fell asleep until 8. Then I woke up again. Did some things again, then fell asleep again. Woke up again at 9.30. Already telling myself to wake up coz I have meeting to attend, but then I unconsciously fell asleep again. Then finally I woke up again about 10.30, and I had to apologize for being late.

Then it also makes me very emotional and sensitive. I yell at people. I express my annoyance directly (usually I do it blatantly). I curse, with very very rude words. I behave in a very irritating way. So for people that have been hurt by me these days, I’m really sorry….

And now I’m having some problems with my body system. My right arm’s muscles and joints really hurt. My back too. My neck too. My shoulder too. And right now I have a very painful waist pain (lumbago).

Sometimes I still wonder whether this is the right thing to do.. It’s one thing you can’t refuse, but it’s one thing you don’t wanna do.

I pray that I will be able to bear with it.. For 3 to 4 more weeks.

By the way, my previous post about Korean “lesbian” dolls made it to become the top post in ping.sg. Hmm.. Don’t accuse me of misleading post title ok?

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