My Grey World

18 Jul, 2007

To 12-year-old me

Posted by: Sylvia Giacinta In: me

So there you are.

12 years old, but your body has fully grown. You’ve grown to 160 cm++, with a nice medium build body. You look older than you are. Of course. You always grow up so fast. Physically, mentally.

First off, I shall tell you to be grateful and not to listen to other people’s discouraging comments. They’re just jealous of you. They’re not pretty, stunning, and head-turning. I know, you must have experienced it by now. Girls hate you when they look at you. They will look at you head-to-toe, with whatever in their minds. Boys will turn to be foxes when they look at you. One of them nearly fell down from his motorcycle.. Wait and experience that very moment. It’ll be very memorable.

Don’t mumble to yourself “What’s so wrong?”. Go on and stay strong. You have something, in fact many things, to be proud of. You’re unique. You’re different. You’re not just a pretty face. You know that, and they actually know that. They just want to be more superior than you. Now, don’t you see that they’re just a bunch of pathetic kids?

You might just realize that you have different interests and tastes than your friends. Well, it will stay like that throughout your life. But fret not, you will find people with who you can share your interests. Don’t worry dearie, at the end, you won’t be lonely.

Next thing, be wary of your friends. You maintain an attitude not calling anyone your “best friend”, but rather “close friend”. And, yeah, it will stay like that. Best friend is a special title. Don’t worry of being mean. Hold to your principle. And trust your guts while choosing close friends. Some are worthy to stay in your heart, some are too mean and not worthy to be stored in your memory. However, don’t be afraid to encounter those people. Meeting them will enrich your knowledge. And you’ll get the satisfaction at the end because, whew, look what you’ll be and look what they’ll be! Endure. Stay tough.

Oh, and, keep in shape! Really, you don’t wanna end up 20 kilos heavier than you weigh a year before. Not for your beauty. Well, maybe you will feel kind of relieved because according to traditional beauty measure, a fat girl is not really attractive and thus lowering the opportunity of the boys-turn-into-foxes thing happening. But FGS, for your health! You have a hereditary gene of diabetes, and seriously, you don’t want that.

And… Do what you love. Do what you like. Not what other people think is good. Look inside your heart, and trust that. Pray to GOD, ask Him to lead you. Don’t let other people fool you into something you don’t like or something you’re not good at. Stay close to Him coz He’s the only one who knows best…

Lastly, enjoy your life! Be happy. Dwelling deep into your depression won’t give you anything. It’s a scary endless circle and you keep revolving in it, but put it deep down in your heart, believe in yourself.

Sweet Regards,
your 18-year-old

P.S. If you don’t really understand what I’m writing because of your English language limitations, don’t worry. You’ll be fluent in about 3 years.

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