My Grey World

26 Apr, 2007

Fear

I hate this fear of being not perfect. I fear that the particular person will not like imperfect me.

Stupid, I know. For I still consciously know that people should love me for who I am. Not for who I try to be.

And now, I am senseless. Maybe it’s right of what my friend said : “It’s a form of running away”. Yeah. Maybe. Too many things suddenly come towards you and bang! You don’t want to feel that horrible feeling of sorrow, anger, and whatever the unpleasant feeling’s name is.

Senseless seems to be the best choice.

What senseless, you ask?

Bad mark for a course? Not feeling sad. Not feeling disappointed. Feeling nothing. That someone coming back, hopefully to me? Nothing felt at all.

And my birthday is coming… Like in several days….. And I don’t feel anything at all. Should I?

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