Little Paintings from Little Children

Hmm.. Sebenernya dah lumayan lama pengen bikin post yang ini.. Tapi berhubung baru aja gw transfer foto2nya, akhirnya baru sekarang gw bisa bikin.. hehe…
Okay, what i wanna talk is about the paintings that our little friends made. And why’s that important? Hehe. Take a look…
(note : photos taken in some elementary school owned by my church. Please forgive me for any bad photographs. I only used the VGA camera in my handphone.. Relax!)

Take a look at this stuff :

What a standard painting, eh? Two mountain peaks with the sun peeping between them and a road in the middle of the picture, along with the plants, and a river in here.
I bet you have painted a painting like this when you’re in elementary school.
(well, maybe except for the readers from abroad. Hello Haggen Kennedy, if you read this stuff.. =D)
What I think as the problem is that, have this little child (his name is Kelvin, if you look closely @ the piccha) really ever seen a scene like this? I mean, he lives in Jakarta! And what we see in Jakarta every sunrise is just.. Traffic jam… D A M N! Okay, maybe not exactly traffic jam, but the beginning of the traffic jam. Okay, to state it concisely, there’s no way you can see a scene like this in Jakarta!

Another stuff :

Nice colors, eh? One time, I got a calendar from my school. It contained pictures that were painted by children all over the world. And the pictures from Indonesian children always have the colors like this. With the gradation or whatsoever. Nice to be seen, actually, but not real.
And the scene in this picture ain’t real either.
Another two mountain peaks with the sun peeping between them. And see the people? It just seems so…. country. All the scene seems so country, actually. And you’re living in Jakarta? What the hell happened? Why did the teacher ask you to draw such a country scene? And you’re living in Jakarta, little boy. J-a-k-a-r-t-a!

And how about this stuff here :

Hmm.. Sorry for the blur there. Anyway, can you catch what’s happening in the picture? Can you see an elementary school student buying fruits, and in the right side of the picture there is a long long road leading to a mountain peak? (Country road.. Take me home.. To the place.. I belo-o-o-o-o-ong… **Gosh I luv yah John Denver…**)
D~uh? Where do you think you live at, eh? Puncak? (say it in english accent : Poon-chuck?)
Or maybe you live in some village and you have to walk for several hours to get into your school. Maybe you walk along that long road to the mountain? Oh wait. Your school ain’t on a mountain. Oh, or maybe you’re living behind the mountain? Gee. Such a long way to go to school, eh?
I’m gonna say it again. There’s no way you’re gonna see a scene like this in Jakarta. And especially that long road leading to a mountain. Gee. For goodness’ sake.

Why did these little children make pictures like those? I don’t get it. Why weren’t they taught to “draw what you see”? I mean, shouldn’t the pictures reflect the truth, the reality of their life?
I’m afraid that this will teach them not to perceive the true reality of the place they’re living. (in this case, Jakarta)
Do you get what I mean?
But anyway, take a look at these stuffs :

See the picture on the left? Isn’t that sooo Jakarta? With the tall buildings.. Well, except for the empty street. Oh, maybe this is a scene from the Lebaran/Idul Fitri (Eid-al Fitr, in English, I suppose?) At that time the people of Jakarta will “mudik” or in other words, come back to their place of origin (in Java, Sumatera, Kalimantan, whatever lah). That holiday always proves that the people of Jakarta consist of commuters. And I, who was born and raised in Jakarta (so how can I “mudik”??) will enjoy the emptiness of Jakarta! Jakarta without traffic jam! Surely a paradise… heheheheheehhe. Actually I don’t get what this little child meant by the green-yellow-orange part. But who cares lah…
And the picture on the right… I love this one! The flood in Jakarta, eh? The BIG flood. You see the water up high, so high until it reaches the roof? D~uh. That’s the truth! That’s what happened in Jakarta when the big flood came. Anyway, the people in that picture seem to be too big, but well.. I will apologize that for she (the name is Jesslyn, isn’t it?) has portrayed the reality.
I will appreciate these close-to-reality pictures more rather than praising those pretty-but-unreal pictures.
Will you guys, too?
These two close-to-reality pictures are the closest-to-reality pictures I got there. You see, they put the pictures on show in front of the class. And what I saw is mostly the two mountain peaks with the sun peeping in them. Along with the road leading to them, of course. Along with the flowers and any other plants beside the road. D~uh????

I don’t have any strong arguments for this, but I really want the little children to draw what they see. Draw the reality. Not that stupid two mountain peaks with the sun peeping between them! Gee. Any mountains in Jakarta? Oh, i forgot that there are. There are steel mountains here in Jakarta. Hahahahahahaha.
Gee, if I had been a teacher, I would surely have asked them to draw what they see everyday. The traffic jam. The tall buildings. The people in the bajaj/becak/ojek/busway. The backstabbing scenes.. (oh hey, what the hell happened with the topic??)
Oh, maybe drawing a traffic jam will be much more difficult than drawing those two stupid mountain peaks with the sun peeping between them. (how many times have I stated that stupid definition?? D~uh..)

But anyway, I really regret this. I regret that the pictures the children made don’t reveal the true reflections of their life.
Jakarta has been harsh, and now Jakarta has been fake. Fully loaded with artificial and fake things. Along with artificial and fake people.
Oh my, my. Poor, poor Jakarta.

ny0ba euy…

saya lagi nyoba bikin skrinsut neh, setelah diajarin ama om unwinged.. hahaahahahahaha

ini halaman msn saya bersama anak ini.. hahahaha..

I should get an MBA!

You Should Get a MBA (Masters of Business Administration)

You’re a self starter with a drive for success. You’d make a great entrepreneur.

We’ll see the truth coming……..

Here I am, accompanied with the songs from winamp, writing all this stuff.
I feel so full inside.
Who’s gonna be here, to become a shoulder to cry on, a friend to rely on?
(Tommy Page, anyone?)
The people that said “I’ll be there for you” had all gone.
One to America, one to Canada, one to Australia, the last one to Germany, and the recent one is residing in Bali.
Fortunately I still got this lovely blog to hold all my stories.
Ermmm.. But I wanna thank this guy that said he’s gonna be here. Hopefully you’ll keep your promise… (anyway, actually don’t bother to open his blog coz it haven’t been updated for a long time)
Ah, but you didn’t promise anyway.

Gee, how should I start?
So, guys, to say it concisely, the time is coming.

We’ll see the truth coming
And we’ll see how my dream, how my future plan b   r   e   a   k    s
And
S
               C
     a             t
t

   e                                 R           R

e                         d

     i               n
t                    o

p

i          e           c

     e                    s .       .               .                         .

Will I ever be able to take these pieces and put it all together again?
To finish my own puzzle… The puzzle that I have made for myself to finish.

It was a really sad time back there in the hospital. His mother held and kissed him on his head, and couldn’t stop crying until she came out from the room. (you know who ‘he’ is. if don’t, please read my previous posts kay..)
His wife cried together with his eldest sister.
And I (yes I, none else) told them to get far from him.
I don’t want him to see the sad things.
What I want is, he can go peacefully and calmly, without thinking much about the family he would leave.
We should be strong, eh?
I’m not the best in covering my feeling but I really tried to smile in front of him. He missed me, they said. He’d been calling my name (“Ah Vi… Ah Vi…”) anytime anyone come to see him.
And when I finally came, he couldn’t say anything. I mean, anything clear.
I hope he had been relieved that he had seen me.
I don’t want him to ask “Ah Vi a booy oh?” (means : Where is Ah Vi?” in Chinese Hakka) anymore.
*FYI, I am called Vivi by my family and because we’re Chinese, they added “Ah” there*

I won’t ask GOD to make a miracle then PooF! the disease is gone.
What I want now is, that GOD could touch his heart, and could show him HIS greatness, before it’s too late…

Would you pray with me guys?

I know, I should face this. I should face the truth.
But still………
Sometimes, I just wanna
Vanish …………………………………………………….
so that I don’t have to face this.

I envy some of my friends, sometimes. Note this, some. Why do their life seem to be problem-free? I mean, not that problem-free, but what they’re facing will always be….. Just that. No more. Having some arguments with parents, or problems with friends, or thinking much about their marks in school.
They needn’t to think about anything else. They just need to live their life.
They can live the life they want.
They don’t have to struggle to get the life they want.

But then, i guess,  everything happens for a reason, eh?
Maybe this is the reason why I had to go through “hard” times.
So that I would be strong for even harder times, like this.

If YOU want it, Pop, so it be.
Make me strong when I can’t accept your will.
Make me realize what you want.
So that I won’t be regretting the times I fought through your decision.
Any of your decision will be the best for me.
I’m sure, you won’t make me sad forever.
But after all, Pop, thank you.
I dare say, I’m happy.
Despite all the hard things I had to face.
Despite being alone to fight all this stuff.
I’m happy. I dare say I’m happy.
Despite these tears that are coming down now.
I’m happy.
And thank you for that, Pop.
You didn’t make me blind. You didn’t make the future too dark to be seen by me.
When I know it’s coming, please make me strong.
As you have made me before.. Until now.
Thank you.

c La i R vo Y aNc E

Akhir2 ini saya tersentuh soal clairvoyance.
Untuk definisi, klik aja ini. Saya mah males nulis2 lagi. Heheh.
Di Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English yang tebel mampus yang saya dapetin pas menang lomba itu, dibilang bahwa clairvoyance itu cuma berhubungan sama kemampuan melihat masa depan. Tapi saya lebih setuju sama definisi yang ada di blog unwinged, bahwa clairvoyance adalah kemampuan merasakan yang –biasanya- tidak terasa.
Singkatnya dan gampangnya sih, clairvoyance adalah suatu ability yang membuat kita bisa merasakan hal-hal yang orang lain tidak bisa rasakan.
Contoh? Uncomfortable feeling toward an unexpected accident. Melihat sesuatu yang ga bisa diliat orang2 lain or let’s say, orang biasa. Dan lain-lain. Kalo mo contoh dari film, inget film Final Destination di mana tokoh utamanya bisa ngeliat kejadian apa yang akan terjadi? That’s it. Got my point? (gee i haven’t watched final destination #3 yet. Guess i gotta get the pirated dvd instead. Pathetic. Huhu)
Dan gara2 om unwinged yang nama aslinya saja saya ngga tau itu, saya jadi tergoda untuk nulis lebih lagi tentang clairvoyance, terutama my own clairvoyance. Daripada saya nulis panjang2 di comment blognya dia, mending saya bikin sendiri di blog sendiri. Hehe. =P
Gw ga tau apakah ada hubungan antara bulan lahir (which is May, my own birthmonth) dengan clairvoyance. Tapi anehnya kok banyak yah yang lahir di bulan mei yang punya kemampuan sama? Coincidence? I can’t say.

Clairvoyance apakah yang gw punya? Gw punya beberapa contoh.
Waktu gw kecil, gw bisa nemuin barang2 ilang. Bukan dengan merem terus langsung tau barangnya di mana. Bukan pake sesajen2 dan mantra2 aneh. Bukan pake detektor logam. Simply pake.. Jepitan jemuran. Iya, jepitan jemuran.
Caranya? Saya tahan jepitan jemuran itu dalam posisi “mulutnya” kebuka, terus saya kelilingin deh rumah saya. Waktu jepitan itu tiba2 ketutup “plek!”, biasanya di situlah barang yang saya cari berada.
Ga percaya? Emang ga bisa ditangkep ama akal sehat, tapi kenyataannya, dulu saya selalu berhasil nemuin barang2 itu. Dari buku-buku, mainan, pensil/pulpen, bahkan orang…
Iya, orang. Waktu saya masih SD itu, saya lagi nyari2 kuku saya (cicinya bokap gw). Lupa ada urusan apa. Setelah bolak-balik di rumah berlantai 2 saya ga ketemu juga, saya pakelah jepitan jemuran andalan saya itu. Dan.. plek! Jepitan itu ketutup waktu dia lagi nunjuk ke arah gudang rumah saya. Gw ga langsung percaya. Ngapaen coba kuku di gudang yang dah lama banget ga dibuka itu? Oya ngomong2, dulunya gudang itu sebenernya garasi. Tapi akhirnya ga dipake.
Tapi ya apa mau dikata, saya toh jalan juga masuk ke gudang.
Dan.. Jeng! Kuku was there…
Tapi sekarang saya ga pernah lagi melakukan ini. Kayaknya dah ga sejago dulu sih. Hehe. =P

Clairvoyance saya yang lain adalah, istilah kasarnya, “dapet wangsit”.
Saya udah pernah bilang kan di berbagai post sebelonnya, biasanya saya dapet feeling, di mana harusnya saya berada, bagaimana harusnya saya bertindak, bla3.
Saya sering banget nyeletuk asal yang akhirnya kejadian.
Yang sebenernya sih ga ngasal2 banget. Biasanya yang saya celetukin itu adalah yang tiba-tiba melintas aja gitu di pikiran. Apa itu yang namanya wangsit? Ga tau juga deh. Ga tau dah apa definisinya.
Contohnya? Banyak. Banyak banget. Ga bs disebutin satu2. Tapi ada sih contoh2 yang lucu, yaitu waktu saya nebak siapa juara AFI 1.
Seperti yang kita ketahui, juara AFI 1 kan si Veri. Waktu itu ade saya yang nanya.
“Ce (saya dipanggil cece, dari kata cie-cie), yang menang AFI nanti siapa ya?”
Gw langsung jawab setelah pause beberapa detik, “Veri.”
Padahal waktu itu Veri adalah kontestan yang lumayan underdog. Dieliminasi sih ngga, tapi menonjol juga ngga.
Tapi setelah saya ngomong yang dah saya sebutkan itu, kok tiba2 dari minggu ke minggu vote bwt si Veri naik. Dan terus naik. Sampai akhirnya dia menang di final.
Bah. Waktu itu saya lumayan kaget lho. Dan sebenernya dah lupa kalo pernah ngomong bahwa yang bakal menang adalah Veri. Ade saya, sekali lagi, yang ngingetin.
“Ih Ce, inget ga, dulu Cece kan pernah bilang yang bakalan menang itu si Veri!”
“Apa iya?”
“Iya!”
“oh…”
“Oh” di sini maksudnya bukan “oh” yang berarti “oh iya ya”, tapi “oh” yang berarti “masa sih??” ato “sumpe looo?”.

Yang lain? Dulu saya bisa banget ngerasain the “can’t-be-seen”. Saya inget banget, feelingnya kuat banget waktu saya menyaksikan Tari Kecak di Bali… (ngomong2 bali, hai mas harman.. Hahahaha)
Feelingnya kayak gimana? Dingin. Udah pasti. Dan ada yang menggelitik di dada ama perut. Ga bisa dijelasin deh.
Ada di antara kalian yang ngga percaya the can’t-be-seen? Wajar, wajar.
Sedangkan gw, jelas gw percaya kalo mereka ada. Mereka emang ga ada di dunia kita, mereka ada di dunia paralel yang biasa saya sebut juga “dunia antara”. Mereka tidak hidup di dimensi yang sama seperti kita, walau pada tempat yang sama.
Dan interaksi kita dengannya kadang adalah tak mungkin…
*kok bahasa gw jadi begini sih. Baru baca apa sih gw tadi..*
Tapi I’m not gonna write all my story about them up here. Coz it’s such a long long long story and it’s gonna bore you to death. *gee,i’m being hyperbolic again*
Intinya, sekarang sih saya udah ga berinteraksi ama mereka lagi. Kenapa? Karena interaksi dengan mereka (yang banyak dikejar orang melalui tayangan2 “mistis” di TV yang dihiasi acara “uji nyali”) bisa menimbulkan banyak bahaya yang sebelumnya sama sekali tidak kita duga. Contohnya? Didatengin. Yah, kasarnya bahasanya begitu lah. Ga ngerti? Ah. Pokoknya ga usah dibahas. I’ll scare you.

Clairvoyance terakhir yang mau saya bahas adalah “membaca orang”. Maksudnya di sini adalah saya bisa tau dalem2nya seseorang tanpa dia kasih tau. Saya bisa tahu apa yang sebenernya mau ia sampaikan lewat kata2 tanpa dikasih tau. Saya bisa tau sifat2 asli orang yang ga keliatan.
How? I don’t know. I just know.
Itulah kenapa saya benci banget sama orang-orang fake, yang sebenernya mungkin buat orang lain ga keliatan fake. Saya ngga suka banget sama orang2 fake, yang memoles dirinya dengan berbagai kebaikan dan keramahan artificial.
Ga ada gunanya, karena gw bakalan tau.
Dan gw tau banget kalo ada orang yang bener2 tulus, and I’m really thankful bahwa sampai saat ini gw lebih banyak ktm orang yang bener2 tulus.
(to all the sincere peepz.. luv ya all)
Dulu sih saya ga terlalu yakin akan ini. Tapi sekarang udah lumayan yakin biarpun masih ga terlalu yakin juga. Bingung? Hehe. Sebabnya saya masih ga terlalu yakin, saya dulu pernah salah.. Salah baca yang fatal, yang ujung2nya bikin gw disappointed berat. Kesel banget. Ga usah dibahas. Bisnya saya masih kesel bin sedih kalo inget.. I was broken-hearted, you know.. :,(
Tapi kemaren2 itu ada kejdan yang membuktikan kemampuan gw yang ini. See, I got a friend, a girl, let’s say her name is L. This L girl looks perfect from outside. Kind, friendly, pinter, sopan, kalem. Mungkin itulah yang bikin saya betah bertemen dekat sama dia dari dulu. (sekarang sih dah ga terlalu). Si L ini akhirnya pacaran sama temen deket gw, cowok (ya pastilah!), let’s say it’s M.
Dari dulu gw ga setuju mereka jadian. Dan kalo ditanya sebabnya, gw pasti jawab ga tau.
Sebenernya, gw tau kalo L is fake. Artificial. Luarnya itu palsu, cuma topeng. Sialnya saya telat menyadarinya dan membiarkan diri saya dulu dipermainkan. Not anymore, actually. I’ve found friends that is more sincere. Thank’s GOD..
Anyway, akhirnya L dan M putus. Dan M jadi desperado sekali. *kalo droo baca, jangan ge-er deh. Desperado bukan desperadroo!* Suatu saat, konselor sekolah kita manggil M, diajak ngobrol2 tentang hubungannya ama L, dan specifically L.
Gw sebenernya dulu dah pernah bilang ama M, “M, lu hati2 ama dia. Dia ngga kayak yang lu liat dari luar… Inget loh. Jangan ampe lu nyesel karena ini pilihan lo sendiri dan gw ga berhak mengganti”. Not exactly like that, but quite close like that.
The counsellor said the same thing. “L itu biarpun kelihatan seperti itu dari luar, dia sebenernya ngga kayak gitu.” FYI, my counsellor is a Bachelor of Psychology, I’m sure he knows a lot about people and how to “read people”.
Setelah sesi itu, M buru2 ngasih tau gw, “Vi, yang dulu lo bilang tentang L itu bener… Gw nyesel dulu ga dengerin saran lo”. Oh oh, my dear M. Love is blind.
Tapi kemampuan yang ini kadang2 agak nyebelin saya, kalo soal cinta-cintaan. Agak malu ngakuinnya, tapi biasanya saya langsung tau kalo ada yang mulai ada “spark” ke saya. Saya mah bukan tipikal cewek yang bakal bilang “Masa sih?” dengan tampang super kaget waktu dibilang “Eh si itu suka sama lo loh…”.
Masalahnya, karena itu, saya jadi ga bisa tarik-ulur, saya jadi “kegeeran”, yah gitu deh pokoke. *malu ngelanjutin*

Kenapa saya bisa nemuin barang ilang? Kenapa saya bisa ngeliat, or let’s just say merasakan masa depan? Kenapa saya bisa merasakan the can’t-be-seens? Kenapa saya bisa “membaca orang”?
Gift?
Gw ga berani untuk berspekulasi begitu.
Tapi to give you a clearer picture, I’ll quote what my mum said. Dia bilang, keluarga gw ini emang ada turunan “begitu”. (nyokap gw sendiri bisa “punya feeling” dan “membaca orang”. Sama kayak gw)
Dan pas di gw, kemampuan itu “nurunnya sangat kuat”. Kalo ga salah nyokap gw pernah bilang karena gw keturunan keberapa or something that sounds like that lah.
Oyah, keluarga gw ini, selain keturunan etnis cina Hakka, adalah keturunan suku Dayak. Karena nyokap gw asalnya sebenernya dari Kalimantan. Jadi sebenernya my great-great-greatgrandmother or maybe greater adalah orang Dayak.
Kenapa keluarga gw bisa begitu? Entah.

Tapi, gw pernah state sebuah spekulasi. Ada di blog lama maupun blog baru (yang lagi dibaca ini).
Gw ngerasa, sebenernya semua orang bisa tau apa yang ada di masa depan. Pernah ngga sih tiba2 melakukan sesuatu tanpa tau kenapa tapi akhirnya menimbulkan perkataan “Gw ga tau kenapa gw ngelakuin itu. Tapi untung aja gw ngelakuin itu.”?
Nah, I concluded that semua orang bisa tau tentang masa depannya, tinggal masalah apakah dia mau lebih peka dalam menangkap pertanda2 dan kata hati.
Atau bukan juga masalah mau atau tidak. Tapi lebih ke masalah apakah dia peka atau tidak.
Dan I dare say gw adalah orang yang peka, dan mau membuka diri gw terhadap pertanda2 dan kata2 hati gw.

Adakah hubungan kemampuan ini sama Dia Sang Pencipta yang Mahakuasa?
Gw ga berani ngomong. And I’m not gonna say a thing about that.
Masalah tentang religion dan yang bersangkutan, biar om unwinged aja yang bahas.
Tapi bwt singkatnya, sebenernya I, as a Christian, am not allowed to believe such things. Gw lupa deh perkataannya ada di bab mana ayat mana (mgkn Mya bisa ngasih tau? ;D), tapi gw pernah baca bahwa ngga boleh kita percaya begitu2an, apalagi mempraktekkannya. Gw inget karena dulu pernah jadi bahan diskusi seru antara gw dan mantan pacar gw. Btw, saya ga tau itu link-nya bener apa ngga. =P

Sudahlah, about my clairvoyance, cukup sudah sampai di sini, terima kasih.

Btw ada yang pernah nanya apakah saya bisa meramal pake tarot. The answer is yes, i can. Tapi saya dah ga berani lagi abisnya bener mulu. =P

another tears…

Gee. I got so much to type in my mind. Feels like as if my head would explode. (and if you find some grammatical errors here, please forgive me, juz this time..)
Okay, anyway.
I cried. Again.
Again? Yeah, again. After crying chaotically when my mother keeps on insisting me to apply for UX. Okay, I’m not hiding it anymore. Insisting me to apply for a place in the shit-hole Universitas Pelita Harapan.
What is it, now?
Still the same stuff. Insisting. Forcing. And whatever it is. I’m not gonna write a series of thesaurus here.
But now, I cried even more. Because a clarification had been made.
Now I know why mother keeps on insisting me.
It’s because of a family thingy.
Okay, I’m not gonna make any of you confused. I’m gonna explain it to you, fast.
You see, my uncle (the husband of my father’s sister) has been seriously ill. And he’s facing…… Well, you know, the most not-hoped part of an illness. I, and my family, never state this explicitly. We’re behaving as if we didn’t know anything. As if that threat wasn’t approaching.
But we just know. We know that we, each other, know.
You see, my cousin is now studying at UPH.
Do you see the connection?
I was made entering UPH to accompany that sister-like cousin.
To accompany her mother, too.
My mother wants me to accompany them after my uncle……. well, you know.
My cousin actually has a brother. But, I’m not being harsh here, he’s not a type of person that you can rely on.
My mother is afraid that they would be lonely.
And I, as the first-born, the closest relative to them (including the distance of our homes), should be accompanying them.
See? That put me in such a dilemmatic phase.
Gee, is this the time that I should regret to be born as an Asian, a Chinese specifically?
The ethnic group that honours family above all.
You want some proof? What’s your opinion about having to take 3 incenses (not less, not more), burn them then sway them then put them in a sandbox (or something like that) in front of the photographs of relatives that already passed away (beside the fruits, roasted chicken, little snacks)?
They said, it is to honour our passed-away relatives.
Or you wanna know what we must do after that.
We burn the paper that reads bank note, and a pair of paper shoes/sandals along with paper suit.
Paper? Yeah, paper. See, it’s too expensive to burn the real ones.
Why must we do that? They say, it is to give our relatives “money” to shopping “there”, and to give them “something to wear” “there”.
You got my point?
I just wanna live on my own. MY OWN. Not like this. Well,,, you know what I mean, rite?

But I’m not telling you that I’ve surrendered and I will follow my family’s will, if you think I will.

Nothing can stop me to get what I want. I must get what I want if I can.

Nothing, noone.

Not my family, just like this. Not my boyfriend, if I finally have one.

I WILL get what I want.

Oh, there’s one thing that can stop me.
GOD. I will follow anything HE tells me.

But is this what YOU want to be, dear GOD?
Is it the reason why I’m crying and crying even though I’ve made a statement “Nothing can stop me” ?

…………………Gosh.

I can make it through the rain.. I can stand up once again on my own, and I know that I’m strong enough to mend. And everytime I feel afraid, I hold tighter to my faith. And I’ll live, once again. And I’ll make it through the rain…
Mariah Carey –Through The Rain

You know the sunlight always shines, behind the clouds of London sky…
Jamie Cullum –London Sky

–>Mebased on my month of birth

I got this from my friendster bulletin board. Interesting actually. The post’s name was “you,,, based on birth…”. And so I opened it up, and it was arranged by month, so I picked up my month, and here it is :

—————–MAY—————–Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willedandhighly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easilyangered.Attracts others and loves attention. Deepfeelings.Beautiful physically and mentally. FirmStandpoint.Needs no motivation. Shy towardsoppisite sex.Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain).Loves todream. Strong clairvoyance.Understanding.Sickness usually in the ear and neck.Goodimagination. Good physical. Weakbreathing. Lovesliterature and the arts. Loves traveling.Dislikebeing at home. Restless. Not havingmany children.Hardworking. High spirited. If you repostthis in thenext 5 minutes, you will become close tosomeoneyou do not speak to much in the next 4days.

I will repeat to copy it again, and I’ll bold things and give comments. Here you are…

Stubborn and hard-hearted.
Completely…
Strong-willed and highly motivated.
I dunno bout the motivated thingy actually… But yes, I’m strong-willed.
Sharp thoughts.
I guess so.. N a sharp mouth to protest. Er, sharp fingers actually.
Easily angered. Nah.. I dun think so.. I’m a very patient person. So patient that sometimes it confuses myself for being soooo patient. Too patient, in times.
Attracts others and loves attention.
Gee I think I gotta admit the second one..
Deep feelings.
My feelings down here.. Catch it if you can…
Beautiful physically and mentally.
I’m being narcissistic. Oh, please let me, just this time. =P
Firm standpoint.
I really think I do have this. =)
Needs no motivation.
I need.. I need it desperately..
Shy towards opposite sex.
I don’t think so.. Hee hee. Udah biasa gitu ama cowok2..
Easily consoled.
Sadly, I’m not. I can be down with my sadness and disappointment for a long time. Clearly, that’s a low point of me. =(
Systematic (left brain).
I like to be scheduled (and plus, on time) in my busy days. Not in holidays, actually..
Loves to dream.
Gee.. I ‘m truly a daydreamer.. hey why don’t you join daydreamers @ friendster? The e-mail is daydreamers@walla.com
Strong clairvoyance.
Yeah, I guess so. And it’s disturbing sometimes coz I dun wanna bliv that even it’s very clear.
Understanding.
Yup yup. I can be a really good listener for you. Promise. =)
Sickness usually in the ear and neck.
In neck, actually. I got sore throat oftenly. Ah, and stiff neck.
Good imagination.
I guess so. But, except for imagining a route to a place… Keep that in mind.
Good physical.
I dun think so… =(
Weak breathing.
Gee, gotta admit that..
Loves literature and the arts.
Surely surely surely! But i don’t really know much about arts.. But ask me to review some books or movies, I’d be glad to do so!
Loves traveling.
Yeah, actually I do..
Dislike being at home.
That’s why I wanna study far far away from home. This house is freaking me out.
Restless.
In fact, I tend to be lazy everytime..
Not having many children.
I hope so! I don’t want my children to be like me struggling with 3 siblings. Urrhh. Dammit.
Hardworking.
I think I’m so lazy… Except for the things I like. =D
High spirited.
Guess so…
You don’t agree with this? Click here then. Ah, if you agree, you should click that too. Johari Window! Don’t we all just love it?

blank…

yea yea, my blog is mostly blank now..
i am doing a major layout change, and that surely takes time.
jangan marah2 dulu karena link-nya ilang,, hehe..
tenang aja, semua yang pernah gw link di sini bakal gw link lagi, dan gw bakal nge-link yang lain2 juga.. Ada yang mau di-link gaaa??? plz tell me so in the shoutbox…

I hope the construction won’t take too long. But meanwhile, I’d be struggling with my exams first..

THank you for viewing..